


Rules Are for Chumps

by clowntoss



Category: The Nevernight Chronicles - Jay Kristoff
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Disasters, Bisexual Female Character, Canon-typical language, F/F, Flirting, Fluff, Halloween, Hopeful Ending, Humor, Kissing, Light Angst, One Shot, Suggestive Themes, teenagers being teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 14:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20725880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clowntoss/pseuds/clowntoss
Summary: “It’ll be easy enough to break them up, but actually getting the jump on them will be difficult. So I’m thinking, since we know them, we break Rule Three.”“No touching? Isn't that a little… bad?”Osrik’s grin widened as he nodded.“I’m in,” Ash said.ora short lil modern halloween fic where ash and oz work at a haunted attraction and attempt to scare mia, tric, and carlotta





	Rules Are for Chumps

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this during the wait for Darkdawn and i dont know what to do with myself now that it’s all over so here ya go

The trio was huddled together like a herd of innocent little lambs, laughing and talking as they walked along the narrow dirt path. They smiled and gestured freely, completely at ease under the moonlight, unsurprisingly calm while wandering through the corn maze. 

She saw the girl—  _ No, woman _ , she chastised herself— laugh, head thrown back to reveal pale skin, dark eyes, and a twice-broken nose, and she smiled along with her. The woman honestly looked beautiful tonight, painted in moonlight and shadow and just a little bit of fake blood. Her fingertips tingled, itched to brush her crooked bangs out of the way so she could see those wonderful eyes, but— O, alas… 

She was fucking working. 

“Yo.” Osrik’s baritone voice sounded at her left, lower than usual in a dim, teasing whisper. He was shadowed by the corn surrounding them, but Ashlinn could see the slight quirk to his lips. “You look a little, uh…  _ lovestruck _ .”

Ash’s smile curdled into a poisonous scowl, the tips of her ears heating as she shoved her brother’s shoulder. She knew her little infatuation was pretty obvious, but  _ really _ ? Pointing it out was plain cruel; this was one of those things better left unsaid and festering just beneath the surface of her skin. Picking at it hurt, acknowledging it was deadly, and telling the source of it anything about it was suicide. “Shut up before I make you, Oz.” 

Her brother just raised an unimpressed brow, the look in his eyes screaming a sarcastic  _ well, then _ . “We’ve got a job to do, I suppose,” he sighed. “Let’s scare the everliving shit out of them, yeah?”

Ash almost sighed alongside him for actually dropping the subject for once, but she held it back, instead shooting him a crooked grin. “Sounds like you’ve got a plan cooking in that thick skull of yours, brother o’ mine. Do tell.”

Osrik grinned right back, batting her side at the light dig, and pointed through the stalks of corn to their three friends. “It’ll be easy enough to break them up, but actually getting the jump on them will be difficult. So I’m thinking, since we know them, we break Rule Three.”

“No touching? Isn't that a little… bad?”

Osrik’s grin widened as he nodded. 

“I’m in,” Ash said. She tugged on the godawful mask she’d been given for the night— a thick, scratchy, and paint-splattered burlap sack that sort of looked like a scarecrow but also  _ really _ didn’t— and pulled out the semi-realistic foam knife tucked into one of the pockets of her overalls. “Alright, I’ll take Mia, you get Lottie and Tricky Boy.”

If she caught Osrik rolling his eyes, she let him get away with it just this once. After all, she had a mission now. A mission to scare her maybe-kind-of-who-knows girlfriend/friend shitless. 

Without speaking, the two of them split up, Osrik heading deeper into the maze to their left to cut their friends off up ahead and Ash streaking across the open trail behind the trio to flank them. In the few short weeks her brother and she had worked at Haunted Hill Experiences, they’d come up with a foolproof method of scaring the bejesus out of the young teens and droves of children that visited on chilly October weekends: Osrik was to distract their victims in the front while Ashlinn closed in for the metaphorical kill from the back. Simple and effective, kid-tested and (not exactly) mother-approved. 

Oz was a quick worker, and before long, Ash heard the sputtering rev of his plastic chainsaw. Usually, her cue would have been the shrill screams of startled adolescents, but this time around, it was the stifled laughter of a trio of assholes. 

“You’ve gotta be fucking kiddi—  _ oof _ .” A dull thud cut off Tric’s gravel laughter, and Ash sprung out from between the stalks like a bat out of hell, foam knife brandished as if it were a real one. 

She almost doubled over with laughter at the sight that greeted her— Tric facedown in the dirt, Oz on top of him and pushing his fake chainsaw against his side like a tickling machine, causing the bigger boy to writhe with laughter. Carlotta stood a few feet away, a dark brow gracefully arched in amusement as Mia crouched down with her phone and took a selfie with the battling boys. 

And God, if Ashlinn hadn't already known she was into girls, Mia’s outfit would have been her Awakening™. She’d seen her just a few minutes before, sure, but that— that had been from a distance. Now she was up close and personal and able to really take in the way those torn black jeans hugged her waist just right; the way her leather jacket was slung haphazardly across her slight shoulders like a badass cape; the flowing, cropped top she wore that showed a teasing glimpse of her toned stomach, and— Jesus Christ, she was  _ so _ fucking gay for Mia Corvere. 

She looked ravishing. And Ash certainly wouldn't mind taking her time  _ ravishing _ Mia herself. Thoroughly. 

Mia stood up, still chuckling over Tric’s misfortune and looking at her phone, and the rain cleared, the skies parted, and the sun shone down in a perfect beam of opportunity. 

Ash wound up her toss like she would a baseball, body pivoting in a crude imitation of the pitchers she’d seen on TV, then let her foam knife fly straight and true right at Mia’s unsuspecting head. The hilt hit her square in the temple, and she heard Corvere mutter a weak  _ ow _ . She looked over with a glare that would make a weaker girl faint from fear. “What in the literal fuck, Ashlinn?”

Ash grinned underneath her mask, then shrugged her shoulders. “Better run, asshole.”

Mia’s face carved into a grin, the right side of her mouth quirking up higher than the left. “A challenge, Järnheim? How could I resist?” She sketched an artful bow, blew her a kiss, and ran. 

Ash took off after her, taking a moment to shove Osrik over and into the dirt as she passed him. The action cost her precious seconds, but it was totally worth hearing the soprano-esque screech of surprise come from Oz’s mouth. Served the fucker right for teasing her all the time, and karma was a bitch. 

Ahead of her, broken stalks of corn showed Mia’s unorthodox route off of the path and straight through the vegetables themselves, and Ash plunged in without a second thought, following the flashes of moonlight on midnight black hair and paper-white skin she caught between the corn. In normal circumstances, her odds of catching up to Mia would be great, but with the impeded vision her mask offered and the fact that she was bumbling half-blind through a goddamn corn maze two hours from midnight, she was at a significant disadvantage. But Ashlinn was nothing if not resourceful. 

She cursed loudly and let herself fall to the ground, wincing as her knees dug into frozen and unforgiving soil. She cried out again, calling the imaginary divot she “tripped” over a motherfucker, then yelled, “Oh, Jesus-fuck—  _ Mia _ !”

And just like that, all sounds of Mia’s continued escape ceased. Ash waited a few seconds, breathing hard, and wrapped her hands around her left ankle, grunting to sell it that much more. “Mia? Don’t laugh at me, but I— I fell.”

A beat of silence, then a heavy sigh. “Ashlinn, I swear for the love of all that is holy, if you’re shitting me right now—“

“I’m not,” Ash cut her off. Mia’s voice had been closer than she’d thought it would be, somewhere not too far in front of her. “It’s—  _ ow _ — it’s my ankle. I think I twisted it.”

The familiar sound of Mia’s colorful cursing and her light footsteps made her smile, but she bit down on her lip to hide it. She was close to winning this, even if she was playing a little dirty. 

“Alright, let me see it, Järn—“

The second Mia was close enough to touch, Ashlinn gripped her shoulders and flipped the two of them over, a few curses escaping the both of them during the scrabble to end on top. In the end, Ashlinn won, her size compared to Mia giving her a bit of an edge. Or maybe it was just luck.  _ Luck is probably right _ . 

She wrestled Mia’s arms above her head and tangled their legs together in an attempt to keep the girl beneath her, but only God knew if that would work. She was out of breath, breathing short and shallow, but not entirely from their mini tussle; she hadn’t been this close to Mia in a while, and feeling her heartbeat running rampant in her chest, close to matching her own, she felt particularly weak for those black eyes. Not even to mention how having her beneath her made her hands shake and mind fumble for something clever to say. 

She eventually settled on, “ _ Surprise _ , bitch!” 

_ God, fuck no, that was terrible, Järnheim— _

A tightness she hadn’t noticed before released in her chest as Mia laughed beneath her, her head tilting back with a wide smile. She found herself chuckling as well, then snorting in full laughter, forehead knocking against Mia’s as her shoulders shook. She let go of Mia’s wrists in favor of using her hands to hold herself up, leaning her head into Mia’s shoulder as the girl wrapped her newly freed arms around her waist. Through the holes of her mask, she could make out the glint of a devilish smirk, the twitch of a dark brow. Mia said, “I thought the workers weren’t supposed to touch the visitors.”

“Well, when you look like  _ that _ how in hell am I supposed to keep my hands to myself?”  _ Way to bring it back, Järnheim _ ! If she could give herself a fistbump without looking like an idiot, she would have. 

She ducked her head down, closing the distance between them, and— 

Mia crinkled her nose. “Not to be a buzzkill, but your appearance is a little… off-putting.”

“Huh?”

“…You’re a fucking scarecrow, Järnheim.” 

“Oh, so the mask is a turn-off?” Ash asked quickly, trying to nonchalantly breeze past the fact she’d tried to kiss her while still wearing the blasted thing. “I really thought I was on to something.  _ Damn _ .” She reached a hand up and tugged it off, breathing in a lungful of the faint scent of cigarette smoke that always seemed to cling to Mia’s clothing. “Better?” 

The smile she earned made her toes curl. “Much.”

With nothing more to say, Ashlinn leaned down just as Mia leaned up, catching her lips with her own in a kiss that was only slightly desperate. 

Kissing Mia was always an adventure, always a little different, always intoxicating. She loved kissing her, feeling her smile against her lips, melting into the heat of her beneath her. She felt a hand scratch lightly down her back, shivered at the contact and the soft noises Mia made as she rolled her hips forward in encouragement. 

Ash could do this all night. Hold her in her arms and kiss the night away beneath the stars. Gladly would, in fact. 

And so it went for what felt like hours. The two of them eventually slowed down, Ash rolling off of Mia and pulling the girl against her side as they looked up at the stars in comfortable silence. Mia toyed with the end of one of her braids as they lay together, trading kisses and lingering touches under the moonlight. 

It felt almost normal. Like the two of them were really together, and that maybe—  _ just _ maybe— Mia and she could work. 

Ashlinn smiled. 

“…bet you they’re already fucking.” 

“Shut up, Oz, that’s your sister you’re talking about.” 

“And that’s all the more reason I’m right!”

Ash caught Mia’s eyes, black and wide in the moonlight. It wasn’t shame or fear in her eyes, but an odd mixture of the two, plus a bit of embarrassment thrown into the blend. Ash knew it was mirrored in her own gaze; if their friends caught them together in such a soft and tender position, they wouldn’t ever let them live it down. She scrambled to her feet, trying to be a gentlewoman by helping Mia to her feet as well— only to end up yanking Mia up with far too much enthusiasm. The shorter girl collided with Ashlinn, and the two of them toppled to the ground again, arms and legs tangled together in a flustered mess. 

“Ah, there they are!” 

The two of them immediately froze, limbs still semi-tangled, heads whipping to the side to see Osrik, Tric, and Carlotta parting their way through the corn. 

Ash met Osrik’s gaze and smiled awkwardly. “Hey there.” 

Osrik blinked, then slapped a hand to his forehead and dragged it down the side of his face. “I told you, guys! Leave these two alone for five minutes and they’re dry humping each other on the ground!” 

Ash glared at her brother and pushed herself up onto her elbows, Mia already sliding off of her and getting to her feet. The pale girl seemed about as amused at Osrik’s comment as Ashlinn was, which wasn’t much at all. She was a little bit offended, really.

“I’ve more class than that, Oz,” Mia drawled, straightening her clothing and brushing a bit of dirt from her shoulder. Ash watched with a smirk as narrowed black eyes met her brother’s icy gaze. “Though I’m not sure I can say the same of you.” 

Osrik bristled, his fragile teenaged ego obviously flaring at the dig. He stepped forward, brows furrowed low, and Mia smiled devilishly. “I—”

“Alright, you two, break it up.” Ashlinn wasn’t surprised when Carlotta stepped between the two, going so far as to put a hand on Oz’s chest to push him back. Ash swore she saw her brother flush, but any thought of teasing him disappeared as Carlotta continued. “Mia, get your girlfriend off of the ground and let’s go home. We’ve got a chem test tomorrow, and you all know how brutal Spiderkiller can be.”

Ash blinked and flicked her gaze to Mia, who simply stared at Carlotta, eyes unreadable. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Corvere, and maybe one day I’ll believe it,” Carlotta shot back with a pointed look, blue eyes glittering. “Now, come on. Let’s go.” With that, the short-haired girl turned on her heel and started off through the corn in the general direction of the exit, Osrik following at her heels. 

Tric glanced at the two of them, gaze cutting back and forth between her and Mia, and rubbed the back of his neck, very obviously flustered. “You know, uh, well—” He cleared his throat. “I think—”

Ashlinn cut him off as she got to her feet. “Let’s not make this any more awkward than it already is, Tricky, yeah?” She crossed her arms over her chest, raised a brow. With one more awkward cough, Tric nodded his head and started off in the direction Carlotta and Osrik headed. 

Ashlinn sighed. “It’s painfully obvious he’s still not over you.”

Mia started forward, slight shoulders shrugging. “At least he’s trying. That’s all I can ask for.”

Ashlinn fell into step beside her, a question tingling on her tongue. It was a dangerous one, one that held several weighty implications, but she’d never been one to back down from fear. She looked over at Mia, eyes trailing across the pale plains of her face, lingering at her dark eyes. “Are you?” 

Mia glanced at her, then looked back ahead at the uneven path before them. “Am I what?”

Ash swallowed. “Are you over him?”

Mia paused. Ashlinn walked a little further on before she realized Mia wasn’t following, and a heavy stone settled in her gut. She paused as well, and turned back to face Mia, ready to fend off the girl’s fury and then some; Ash  _ knew _ Mia, and she knew the girl was loath when it came to talking about emotions and feelings and the nitty-grittiness of actually giving a damn once in a while. 

She met Mia’s stare head-on, pushing down the doubt and uncertainty that were crawling their way up her throat. She was prepared to be shot down, given the cold shoulder— even punched in the gut for being so bold, if Mia was in a particularly disagreeable mood. 

What she wasn’t exactly prepared for was a kiss. 

It was much softer than the ones they’d shared before, just a whisper of her lips against her own, but a kiss all the same. Ash’s hands found their way to Mia’s hips, and Mia’s cradled her face gently, kindly, so different from the boldness and carnal nature of their previous embraces. Butterflies were set aflutter in Ashlinn’s stomach, and she sighed as Mia pulled away, just enough for her words to fit between them. 

“Does that answer your question?”

Ashlinn’s lips quirked upwards, a warmth settling in her chest. “Yeah,” she said, bumping their foreheads together. She melted at the soft curl to Mia’s lips, the affection in her stare. 

“Yeah, I think it does.”

**Author's Note:**

> constructive criticism is appreciated folks!! i'd love to hear your thoughts!
> 
> catch me on tumblr @ clowntoss to chat abt darkdawn/the fic if u want


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